He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
