I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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