the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You need Xanax blowdarts
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
