I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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