I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
