he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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