Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
