so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
