forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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