Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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