If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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