Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
