On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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