I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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