Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
