yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
