Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
