So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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