The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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