I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
