May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
