Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
