Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My vagina is officially offended.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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