Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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