no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
