we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
