if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
