I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
