Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
