Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
