this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
