im about as happy as oj after his trial
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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