umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
