Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
