So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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