theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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