I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
