how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
