But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
