Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
