Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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