Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
