They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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