I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He has the fingertips of a God
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