he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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