His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
