you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
