so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
