So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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