yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Four minutes until I can fart!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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